Charl and I have been married for 7 months now. This certainly doesn’t make me an expert, but somehow I feel obliged to start writing posts on marriage now. 

I once heard someone say that marriage is hard work, even if you marry the right person. 
​
My non-expert opinion is that this is true. 

​Every time things get “hard work”; I’m thankful to be married to someone who loves Jesus and seeks to honor Him. I’m thankful for the fruit of the Spirit in his life (Galatians 5:22-23). I’m thankful for someone who says “let’s pray” when we have an argument. I’m thankful for someone who knows what accountability looks like and lets others speak into his life. I’m thankful for the partner I chose to do life with. 

Even if your husband is a committed God-fearing man, it would be unrealistic to expect every part of life with him to be a sunset stroll on the beach. These last 7 months have been a huge blessing, but definitely not a walk in the park. 
​
Perhaps a better analogy would be to say being married is like going on a hike.
​

​You’re either reading this because you’re convinced a woman should NOT make the first move and you’re hoping I’ll add some substance to your beliefs, or you want to invite some guy for coffee and you’re hoping I’m going to give you permission. 

Honestly, I’m old-fashioned; I like the idea of the guy making the first move. 

I started pondering this concept, trying to figure out if there’s even any biblical support for it and I happen to believe there is. BUT there’s also Ruth and her successful first-move-making story.

For a full biblical perspective, I think it will be best if we start there.
​

​I said goodbye in Part 1 right after telling you how I friend-zoned Charl and then cried because I knew we couldn't be friends.

Honestly, I think Part 1 is the juiciest part of our story, where Part 2 is just one big messy situation. But considering that I can't just leave you hanging there, I might as well go ahead and share the rest.
​

​One whole year – that’s how long it’s been since I wrote something on here.

Since, I met a guy, started dating, got engaged and joined the married club. (Which might not be news to you, considering most people who follow my blog, know me in some way in the real world as well).

Either way, I felt the best way to break the silence would be to tell the story. As a single, I was inspired by the way God orchestrated other people’s love stories. It gave me hope. So hopefully ours will do the same for you.

The biggest thing I’ve learnt (am learning) on this journey was to let go of preconceived ideas about dating, marriage and my future husband.
​
So let’s start.
​

​The majority of this post was written a few months ago. I was working on a research paper for my honours degree at the time. The paper looked at Genesis 2:24 and how this reference to marriage also refers to Christ and the church based on Ephesians 5. This was a topic I chose and not something that was pre-assigned.  Yet mid-working on it, I had one of those “why am I writing a research paper about God’s intention for marriage?” moments. Not the type where I felt unqualified due to my lack of practical experience, but rather the type where I started crying over Genesis 3:16 - confronted with my own longing for marriage.

Then I wrote this post and Holy Spirit used it to minister to my heart.

​For some reason it never got posted. I didn’t forget about it, but it just didn’t feel like the time was right.

​During the last few weeks I intentionally made time to sit at Jesus’ feet to give Him my desires and plans for a future spouse in order to hear and walk according to His standard. I really hope this article will inspire you to do the same.
​