Dare to love

This article was written by a good friend of mine. She shares her unique, teenage perspective on what it means to love both yourself and others. Her story reminds us that we are loved and because of that we can love others. 

​​Last week I (guest blogger) realized that the way I see myself deeply affects the way I love. True and Godly love starts within yourself (Mark 12:31) – seeing yourself as God sees you. The point of love is not being easy and comfortable. Love is not about you – but that is where it starts!

​The girl who needed love
 
At a party, there was this girl who played on my sports team for few years. Despite this fact, she never really socialised with me or the rest of the team.  Whenever I’ve tried to include her, it seemed like she didn’t want to participate in the conversation. I realised that not including yourself in the group is sometimes a way of avoiding rejection. She was in need of love.

​The difficult choice
 
This left me with a choice: either I could leave her to find her own way, or I had to sacrifice my own comfortable place among my friends and join her to make her feel noticed. Although it was easy to identify the “right thing” to do, the choice was still a struggle.

I found myself asking in frustration, “Why can’t she just be like the rest of us?”

"Although it was easy to identify the 'right thing' to do, the choice was still a struggle."

​Those words stopped me in my tracks. I had to consider the attitude of my heart. I knew I was supposed to be seeking the good of others, but my heart was filled with pride. I was part of the group; and she wasn’t. I had made the effort to be part of the group; she hadn’t. I have built relationships over the last few years; she didn’t. I felt like I belonged; and she didn’t. 

"This was an opportunity for Him to use me, but I was blinded by pride."

​She needed love. Not a love that I could give, but a true love only Christ could give through me. This was an opportunity for Him to use me, but I was blinded by pride. I was scared of losing my place or missing out; believing that very same lie of insignificance encrypted into her mind.  

Our longing to be loved

Victor Hugo said: 

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” 

​This is what we all long for. We long to be deeply known; completely understood and secure in love. The only place where such a love can be found is with Christ. He will never tell us:  “Oh, you didn’t pitch, so I replaced you,” or “You changed, so I’m opening your position for others who could be interested.” 

Love is found in Him

 “...the life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” – Galatians 2:2

​Jesus picked you. Jesus loved you. Jesus gave Himself - His comfort - for you.
 
He wants you and not what you can offer Him. He died so you never ever have to be rejected again. You are precious in His eyes.

“He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
​- Zephaniah 3:17

“Since you are precious and honored in My sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” - Isaiah 43:4

And so you can love
 
If we live in the freedom that God’s love brings, we can overcome the pride of our social status. We can see and respond to the needs of others. We don’t need validation from others. We can respond to the command to “Love as I have loved you” (John 13:34), because we truly understand the unconditional love that this offers. We understand, because we have received that authentic, perfect love. We won’t love from our own resources, but from the empowerment that Christ’s love brings.

​I remember times when I was the outsider. How I would have wished for someone to notice me and be my friend.

"We won’t love from our own resources, but from the empowerment that Christ’s love brings."

​In Christ’s security, we can all be that friend. Not the one who says: “I love you, because you are just like me,” but “I love you, because Jesus first loved me.”

“Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”
​- C.S. Lewis

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