​​This morning I watched a woman die. She had been stabbed. I was the one who found her. In fact, I heard her screaming just before. A few moments later I was sitting beside her when she gave her last breath.

The journey I’m on

A few weeks ago I asked God what we were journeying on. It didn’t feel like there was anything He was currently teaching me. That Friday a friend and I were planning to go to a worship night at our church. Due to an accident causing really bad traffic, we were more than an half an hour late.  I didn’t see the point in going anymore; thankfully he was a little bit more determined.

​These past few weeks I’ve been confronted with the idea of hopelessness. I also came across so many Christians struggling to see God’s light in times of darkness. Failures, lies and an overall negative society; ruin our dreams, drag us down and leave us feeling hopeless and far from God. 

​Amidst the battle fought for a glimpse of hope, I heard this uplifting testimony of a friend. Liezl reflects on her struggle with hopelessness and the simple way God came to restore her hope.
​
If you are struggling with hopelessness today, you are not alone. If you have a longing for God’s presence, but somehow can’t seem to reach Him; if you feel frustrated and confused, this is for you.

The aim of Queen in Gold is to help (young) women to embrace their God-given title as the royal Bride of Christ.  I happen to wake up many days not feeling much like the royal Bride. Here is a little bit of my journey and the lessons I’ve learnt – maybe you can relate.

​
Why me?

Since God placed this blog on my heart there have been many doubts of whether or not I am truly the Queen it represents.

The enemy bore witness to my sin and accused me of being unholy; unworthy and two-faced. I’ve certainly looked to God asking why: Why did He choose me to be in this relationship with Him?

Even more; why does He want to use our relationship if we both know it’s not all that perfect? We both know how often I stumble and how often I choose to follow my own thoughts and ideas– so why would He choose me?
​

God used this little metaphor-story to show me what it really means to be single. This story helped me to embrace my current season. I hope that it will do the same for you...

​
Single and waiting
​
There was this girl on a train station. She was waiting for the train to come, but seemed to wait for a really long time. People would show up on the station, get on a train and off they go.

​For her, this was not the case. When a train would enter the station, she would jump up and be ready to go, only to watch the train pass straight trough without even stopping. 
​

Being present is more than signing your name on an attendance register. A saying goes “the lights are on, but nobody’s home.” This refers to when someone is too tired to realize where they are or what they’re doing; although they are awake and physically attending. You might show up for life, but it takes more than showing up to be truly present.  It takes more than going through the motions to truly live.

​I personally define being present as being aware of God and what He wants to do. God is never passive; He’s always active in healing brokenness (Psalm 30:2), setting captives free (John 8:36) and giving life in abundance (John 10:10). God is working for good, establishing His purpose, right at this moment (Romans 8:28). If this is the true, why do our lives often feel so mundane? Why aren’t we witnessing miracles daily?
​