Queen in Gold
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Here’s a little reflection of what singleness has taught me.
I’d never regret my last six years of singleness, instead I grant it as extremely precious. Here’s why...
My story
After a high school breakup I thought I’d never recover from, God drew me into a deeper intimacy with Him. This changed everything. For the first time I felt satisfied by His love and I didn’t need approval or affection from guys. For three years I intentionally didn’t date. I wasn’t ready. I took time to heal and to seek the face of my First Love.
I assumed that after the three years (I experienced God calling me to stop dating); He would send me a husband. I especially thought this because I always dreamed of marrying young and I was (still am) of meaning that this is a very Godly dream. But then He didn’t and three years became four and four became five and all of a sudden I wasn’t so sure if I’d still be able to “marry young” even if I met my husband right then.
2. Working on yourself (instead of a relationship)
Throughout our lives, we will continually grow to be more like Christ. A relationship is a great place to highlight areas you need to grow in, but often at the cost of the other person. Imagine being able to become the type of person you’d like to be married to before even meeting that person. Imagine practicing selflessness towards your family, friends and random strangers, before having to be selfless towards your spouse. Imagine being spiritually mature and ready for marriage, before even meeting the person you’ll marry. Singleness is a great time to start becoming the person God intended you to be.
4. Time
I can already hear some of single friends sighing at this one, but hear me out! This is a fact: When you are single you have more time for ministry, serving, friends, family, work, school, studies and yourself! In my single years I was heavily involved in ministry, to an extent that I never would’ve been able to have a relationship in that time. God chose to use me in ministry during my single years, because He knew I had time as a resource. I had something to give and I gained so much by giving.
5. Endless possibilities
You’re future husband is still out there! You still get to meet him, get to know him and fall in love. You still get to dream about who he is and what type of story you’d tell your children one day. I want to challenge you to sit with God. Let Him be the One who forms your dreams about your future husband and then trust Him with it. You never know; you might just meet him tomorrow? Perhaps you’re already friends? The possibilities are endless!
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If you feel challenged about embracing your season of singleness, I would highly recommend you also read my article, A story for single girls. Also, please feel free to share some of your thoughts and stories on singleness. You might also like:
2 Comments
4/16/2018 10:59:13 pm
I can so relate to this! I too always dreamed of getting married young, but then found myself at 22 still single and at 24 broken up with after thinking the relationship would end in marriage (though by 25 I was married, not to that guy though). Singleness is not easy and it is not always fun (though there are fun moments). I will say though, there is something about the hope and possibility of singleness that you do miss after getting married. Don't get me wrong, it's great to feel stable and settled (though we're never really 100% stable or settled, which I realized after getting married). However, there is something beautiful, unique, and sweet about the possibility that's naturally present when you're single. I didn't think I would miss anything at all about being single, but I do miss that a little and love talking about the possibilities with my single friends and encouraging them. Great post!
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Riani
4/17/2018 09:16:07 am
Thank you for sharing Ashleigh! It's so great to hear a little of your story!
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About the blogQueen in Gold is a blog for the feminine heart. I hope to inspire other women to stand up in their God-given identity.
AuthorMy name is Riani.
I love flowers, board games, arty markets, food, music and spring....
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