The truth about SEX (Every unmarried Christian should know)

​This is not your typical church-girl topic, but that’s exactly the problem. I’ve been meaning to write this ages ago, but honestly; I was a little afraid. Many of you know that I myself am an unmarried Christian girl – so what qualifies me to write this article? Plenty of grace: grace, grace, grace.... And that’s about it.

​So why write it now? I’ve seen too many young people fall for lies about sex. I honestly believe the reason many people fall into sexual sin is because it’s not something we talk about openly and honestly enough. When I started Queen in Gold the dream was to answer questions everyone asks, but no one seems to answer. It’s time to start sharing the truth again, friends.

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God’s divine plan for sex

It was His idea
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God is the Creator of all things (Genesis 1-2). He created man as the crown of creation (Genesis 1:26-31; Psalm 8:4-5). Having created man, He obviously also created us with the ability to have sex. Ability is almost not the right word – it’s actually more like an obligation. It’s the only way in which we can naturally reproduce. Without intercourse humanity would’ve died out right after Adam and Eve. God, however, commanded them to multiply (Genesis 1:28). Yip, He pretty much commanded them to have sex. He must have thought it was pretty important if He let the entire future of humanity depend on it.

​God’s intention was never to punish you. He created you as a sexual being. He created sex, however, to be holy.

"He must have thought it was pretty important if He let the entire future of humanity depend on it."

​Holy ground
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The definition of holy or sacred is to be set apart. First of all God is holy. This is the very reason we are in need of the blood of Christ. God is so holy; we would die if we had to enter His presence covered with sin. But because of Jesus our sins have been washed away. We are made righteous, covered in the blood of Christ. Because of His sacrifice we can be in a relationship with God and through His Spirit He enables us to live up to the Godly standard He intended for us (Romans 3:23-26; 2 Corinthians 5:20-21).

“But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” – 1 Peter 1:15-16

​We are called to be holy in every area of our lives. This includes our sexuality. God’s intention for it had always been marriage. The very reason for its holiness is because God has set it apart for marriage. 
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Why marriage though?

"But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” - Mark 10:6-8

God intended marriage to be between one husband and one wife and intercourse as an intimacy to be shared only between them. This intimacy forms a soul tie between a husband and wife, making them “one flesh.” Outside of marriage, soul ties can be destructive. Within marriage, however, it creates a Godly unity.

The covenant

In Ephesians 5:32, Paul describes the union between husband and wife as a “profound mystery” pointing to the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the Church. Whenever a biblical covenant is made it always gets sealed with blood. Think back to God’s covenant with Abraham (Genesis 17:10-11), or the covenant between Christ and His church.
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When a virgin bride sleeps with her husband for the first time, she bleeds; sealing their new marriage covenant with blood. I remember hearing this for the first time – I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Okay, I still do! 

Choosing to wait is honoring God with your sexuality. It’s inviting God to be part of your marriage union; enabling Him to join you together with your future husband so that you can’t be separated (Mark 10:8-9).
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This is why you should wait –God intends for your marriage to be filled with pure and holy love (Hebrews 13:4; Proverbs 5:15-19). 

"God intends for your marriage to be filled with pure and holy love."

The goodness of God
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I read this great article on Beggar’s Daughter (True Love Does Not Wait: Are You Waiting for all the Wrong Reasons?), where Jessica claims that she waits because God is good and not because sex is good. And did this challenge me?

​Yeah, sex is good, God designed it that way. At this point of the article I really hope you got that. But God is good and pursuing purity glorifies Him. That in itself should be enough reason to wait. Perhaps you’re a little bit annoyed with not being able to have part in this glorious God-designed sex yet. Remember that in your waiting you are bringing glory to God. Yes, you’re honoring your future husband, but in the end it’s all about honoring Jesus.

"God is good and pursuing purity glorifies Him."

What if you’re not a virgin anymore?
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He loves you – even if you knew better!
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Scroll back up and read the first paragraph under “Holy ground.”

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”– 1 John 1:9

Jesus died for your sin. His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). You’re sins have been completely washed away.
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There’s so much to say and at some point I should write an article about this. For now, I would really recommend you find a Christian mentor you can trust to talk to and pray with (James 5:16). 

​Also read:

If God is journeying with you on purity – have a look at these Scriptures:

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” – Ephesians 5:3

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.”– 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

​​Go have a look at Jessica’s blog: Beggar’s daughter. She gives beautiful, Biblical insight into sex, singleness, and pornography.

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Share it with a friend!!

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