The majority of this post was written a few months ago. I was working on a research paper for my honours degree at the time. The paper looked at Genesis 2:24 and how this reference to marriage also refers to Christ and the church based on Ephesians 5. This was a topic I chose and not something that was pre-assigned. Yet mid-working on it, I had one of those “why am I writing a research paper about God’s intention for marriage?” moments. Not the type where I felt unqualified due to my lack of practical experience, but rather the type where I started crying over Genesis 3:16 - confronted with my own longing for marriage.
Then I wrote this post and Holy Spirit used it to minister to my heart.
For some reason it never got posted. I didn’t forget about it, but it just didn’t feel like the time was right.
During the last few weeks I intentionally made time to sit at Jesus’ feet to give Him my desires and plans for a future spouse in order to hear and walk according to His standard. I really hope this article will inspire you to do the same.
Trusting God’s timing and purpose with your life can be pretty tough. I remember being in high school and worrying that God’s plan for my life was to be single forever. I’m mentioning this because I happen to know many Christian women who’ve also worried about this at some point in their life.
A friend of mine made a valid statement saying that whenever we fear or worry about the future we always seem to forget God’s grace will be there for us in that situation. God always seems to prepare us for the seasons we need to go through (1 Corinthians 10:13). Seven or eight years ago I convinced myself He wouldn’t let me arrive at this age of almost 25 without being married. But seven or eight years ago I didn’t know the fulfillment I’d find in Him today.
This doesn’t mean I don’t want to be married anymore. I still do very much and I often remind God of my desire for a companion. But I’ve learnt so much about my Father’s heart in this season of waiting. I believe singleness teaches us to wait – for more than just a husband.
Most of you probably know at least one person who met their spouse at about the same time they stopped looking for someone and started enjoying their singleness. If you are single you’ll usually get reminded of these love stories right after expressing your frustration with still being on your own.
As true as their stories might be, it simply doesn’t work like that for all of us. Learning to be content is usually one of God’s purposes for singleness, but being content is not a box you can tick in order to get married. Marriage is not a prize you get for being “content enough” on your own.
Learning to be content is an important part of life and not just singleness. We learn to find contentment in Christ throughout our lives and for many of us; this journey starts with being single.
A little bit more than a year ago an elderly man approached me in a grocery store: “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
I still don’t know how a random stranger could tell that I was single just by looking at me. What could possibly be the physical evidence for having a boyfriend?
I can’t remember whether or not I answered him, but I do remember asking myself that question on a regular basis during that time. I remember thinking: “I wish I knew.”
If you can identify with my grocery store moment in any way; if singleness is something you’ve prayed and moaned and cried about - this is probably for you. For the rest of you; please take caution when asking single people about their relationship status...
High school was probably some of the best and worst years of my life. It was during those 5 years I discovered I didn’t fit into the crowd (most of us don’t), leading to a very confusing search to find the true me. In between it all I tried to figure out how my childhood faith and relationship with Jesus would look like into adulthood.
Clearly, following Jesus called me to be different; so I took a year or two of not being too serious about Him - by grace I realized how unfulfilling that would be. It was in high school I chose to follow Jesus with everything – no matter what. Sadly, I also saw many walk away, choosing to follow the world instead.
If I could do it again – there are a few things I’d do different. While listing them today, I realized how applicable they still are. Perhaps this is true for you too.
About the blog
Queen in Gold is a blog for the feminine heart. I hope to inspire other women to stand up in their God-given identity.
My name is Riani.
I love flowers, board games, arty markets, food, dancing, music and spring....